In our last article, we talked about the big idea behind the Great Wealth Transfer. By the year 2045, an estimated 84.4 trillion dollars will pass from one generation to the next. We talked about the opportunity and responsibility parents have to train their children for that moment.
This time, we are tackling the natural next question. That all sounds great, but how do you actually do it?
The good news is that it is not too late. Whether your child is 35, 45, or 55, you can still have these conversations and help prepare them for the stewardship ahead.
Parenting Adult Children Is a Different Role
Parenting adult children looks very different from parenting a ten year old. With young children, we are the teacher. With adult children, we shift into the role of coach, advisor, and cheerleader. We can help with strategy, but they are the ones making the decisions. They are the ones in the game, taking the shots.
That means our children need real autonomy. It would be inappropriate to control or manipulate an adult child into doing what we want. Everything that follows should be built with that principle in mind.
Start With an Honest Conversation
The first step is simply talking with your children. That conversation should cover a few key areas.
Start with the nature of your estate. What assets do you have, and what is likely to be left to your children? It is generally not wise to surprise your children after you pass away with the full extent of what you own, or to surprise them during your life with a change to your will that cuts someone out or reduces what they expected to receive. Having these discussions while you are still living gives your children the chance to ask questions. Once you are gone, that opportunity is gone too.
How much you disclose is a matter of wisdom and discretion. Do you show account statements? Do you talk in specific numbers, or in big picture terms? Unless there is an extraordinary circumstance, such as a lack of trust with a particular child, my advice is to lean toward more transparency rather than less. Talk in real numbers, even if you keep the smaller details private. Give your children a general sense of what they can expect and the nature of your estate, including real estate holdings or business interests.
These conversations are a great fit for the dinner table, but they should not stop there.
Share the Story Behind the Money
Help your children understand your family’s philosophy of money. How did you build what you have? What sacrifices did it take to work, scrimp, and save your way to where you are now? Children will not respect what they inherit unless they understand what it took to build it.
It also helps to share the values behind your money. What is money for in your family? Is it about security and protection? Caring for others? Creating opportunities for the people you love to flourish? Understanding the purpose behind your wealth gives your children a framework for using it well.
From there, move into the why questions. Why did you save? Why did you invest, and why did you invest the way you did? Why did you give to the causes you chose to support? Why do you want your children to inherit what you have built, and what do you hope the inheritance will do for them? These questions open up meaningful conversations that help your children understand the heart behind the money, not just the numbers.
Bring Them Into the Process
If you work with a financial advisor, accountant, or attorney, consider inviting your children into some of those meetings. Watching the planning process firsthand teaches them about tax and estate realities, the legal and financial frameworks involved, and the thinking behind your decisions.
As a financial advisor, I have seen this play out many times. When a son or daughter joins a planning meeting, they often walk away understanding and appreciating their parents more than before. They also pick up practical lessons they apply to their own lives, like realizing they need to get their own will and documents in order.
On that note, if you do not already have a will, power of attorney, and a fully funded living trust where appropriate, that should be a high priority. A will scratched out on a scrap of paper will not hold up. Work with an attorney to make it official. Without a valid will, much of what you own could end up going to the government instead of your family. A good attorney exists to anticipate problems and prevent them before they happen.
This is also a good time to involve your children in your charitable giving. Consider letting them help choose which charities receive some of your giving this year. It is a meaningful way to help them understand what ministries and causes are closest to your heart.
Let Them Practice: Give, Observe, Teach, Give Again
In our last article, we introduced a simple framework: give, observe, teach, and give again. This is where your children get the chance to build real financial muscle.
Give. This might mean giving a sum of money outright. As of 2026, you can give up to 19,000 dollars per year per person without gift tax implications. That means a married couple can give 19,000 dollars each to a child, and even to that child’s spouse if you choose. Check the current limits for the year you are watching this, since they change over time. You do not have to give the maximum. Give what feels right for your family.
Observe. Watch how they handle it. Are they chasing a quick fix or trying to keep up with the Joneses? Or are they paying down high interest debt, saving for retirement, building an emergency fund, or covering something meaningful like tuition? Look past surface level spending to see what they are actually prioritizing.
This stage can also include bigger opportunities, like helping with a down payment on a home or providing seed money for a business. If your child has a genuine vision to serve others or meet a real need, helping fund that can be a wonderful investment. Wisdom still applies here. You do not need to fund every idea, but where your child has done the research and the due diligence, this can be a great opportunity to give, observe, and teach.
Teach. Keep in mind that teaching does not start here. By this point, you have already been modeling good stewardship, sharing your why, and bringing your children into the planning process. This step is simply more specific. It is about the particular gift, how they used it, and what it reveals about how they are managing their lives.
Give again. Once you have given, observed, and taught, the cycle continues. This is the pattern, not a one time test.
Let Them Fail
This next part is hard, because no parent wants to watch their child get hurt. But your children need the freedom to make mistakes and experience the consequences.
If you give your child money and they waste it, let them deal with the outcome. Do not step in and rescue them from a small mistake now. It is far better for them to lose a smaller amount and learn from it than to make the same mistake later with a much larger sum. Be willing to share your own financial mistakes with humility too. That kind of honesty builds relationship instead of resentment.
Luke 16:10 reminds us that whoever is faithful in little things will be faithful in much. That is exactly why we keep teaching, even after a mistake. When your child stumbles, do not cut them off. Give it time, keep teaching, and then give again. This is a pattern, not a single test with one chance to pass or fail.
Set Boundaries
Not every child will pick up these skills at the same pace. Some will grasp financial wisdom quickly. Others will struggle. That is exactly why boundaries matter.
The bank of Mom and Dad should not be open for every request. Your children need to experience the reality that there are always more expenses than there is money to cover them, whether they are making 50,000 dollars a year or 150,000. Learning to live within a real budget is part of what built the wisdom you have today, and it is part of what will build theirs.
I remember watching a butterfly struggle to emerge from its chrysalis as a child. I wanted to help by pulling the chrysalis open. I was told not to, because that struggle is what builds the strength the butterfly needs to fly. Helping too soon would have done more harm than good.
The same is true for our children. We are not meant to prevent every struggle or shield them from every moment of delayed gratification. That struggle is part of adulting. At the same time, not every struggle is a good one, and sometimes a helping hand is the right call. Prayerfully seek the wisdom to know the difference.
They Do Not Need to Know Everything
As we close, remember that your children do not need to know every detail. They do need to know enough to step into the responsibilities they are being called toward. This is a real opportunity for them to grow in using their resources wisely, so that one day, when they are entrusted with more than they ever imagined, they will be ready. And one day, they will hear the words, well done, my good and faithful servant.
Imagine the joy of hearing that said about your son or your daughter.
This is the second article in a series on preparing the next generation for inheritance. If you have questions about how to apply any of this to your own family, reach out to us to talk through your specific situation.
Disclosures: The topics discussed in this podcast are for general information only, and are not intended to provide specific investment advice or recommendations. Investing and investment strategies involve risk, including the potential loss of principal. Past performance is not a guarantee of future results. All information here in is from sources believed reliable, but is not guaranteed for accuracy or completeness. The team assumes no liability for any errors, omissions or actions taken based on this material.
Information is as of the date stated and subject to change without notice. Securities and advisory services offered through Geneos Wealth Management, FINRA/SIPC
